Parenting Advice, From A Teen

Friday, January 23rd, 2009
by AriannaD

Now I am no expert on parenting considering I have not been one, and I haven’t taken any “special courses” on the matter. I am just going to give some free advice based on my personal experiences. Being in high school I have seen quite a few teenagers rebel, and for the most part, their parents can’t figure out what they did wrong. Here are a few words of advice that I would like to share with all those parents.

1. Stop smothering them.

Keep tabs on your kid. Know where they are, who they are with, but don’t ask them questions constantly and call them every thirty minutes. They will get annoyed and frustrated, which only causes fights and unnecessary tension. Also, parents don’t seem to realize all of the stress and pressure teenagers have to deal with. If a parent adds unnecessary stress to the already fragile mind of a teenager, it will only make them more breakable.

2. Don’t be a control freak.

One thing that certainly is not fun would be sitting on the bathroom floor of Wendy’s comforting your friend. Yes this actually happened. A big group of girls I was with went to Wendy’s and all of our parents came too. One of the girls’ mothers told her the only thing she was allowed to order was a salad, and if she didn’t order one she wasn’t going to be eating. This was just one of the many controlling things I witness this mom do to her daughter. And guess what… her daughter only rebelled more and more as she got older, she went out partying to the point where by the age of 16 she constantly smoked, and had been arrested twice for underaged drinking.

3. If you are going to put down your foot, actually commit to it.

Over and over again I have seen kids get caught drinking or doing other things they aren’t allowed to do and when the kids get grounded their parents never follow through. If you are going to ground your  teenager you have to stick to it, because if you don’t your son or daughter will know they can get away with anything because they won’t actually get in trouble.

4. Make sure they learn to appreciate things. (Take the time to teach good morals.)

Don’t always give your kid everything they want because then they become spoiled. If you ration things your child may be upset that they didn’t get what they wanted, but the next time you give them something special they will appreciate it more. Learn to pick and choose, and remember to teach them morals. Don’t preach because teenagers hate that, but be sure to apply the morals into your life, and your kid will learn based on good example.

5. Don’t embarrass them.

Please, please don’t embarrass teenagers. Mentally most of us just can’t take it. I remember being in the car one time with a couple other girls and one of the girl’s mom’s. The girl’s mom decided to start playing the Bible on tape, and she was preaching to us. So when the girl told her mom to please stop, her mom went on a rant about teenagers and sex before marriage. The girl was so embarrassed, that she decided she didn’t want to have a sleep over after all.

Like I said, I am no expert, but these are just some suggestions, something for parents to consider. Giving your kids just a little space, but also letting them know what is acceptable could really help prevent some of that conflict in the house.

If you want some advice from the experts, Parenting.org is an interesting website.

Photo Credit: Valentin.Ottone

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